Children
are easily influenced by their surroundings.
These days, it is extremely difficult
to expose our children to an ideal Islamic
environment given the influences from
media, friends and even other members
of the family.
With television, radio, Internet and forms
of media mostly touting un-Islamic values,
it is up to parents and adults close to
the children to set the correct example.
It is impossible to shield our children
from all the negative forces that can
shape their minds and, ultimately, their
behavior.
However, by our own example and showing
them better options, we can set them on
the true path, which is to obey the commandments
of Allah (swt) and our Prophet (may Allah's
peace and blessings be upon him).
Here are some tips you may want to follow
in helping your children grow up with
Islamic values.
|
| 01. |
Start
by teaching them the importance of Worshipping
only Allah: The
best thing any Muslim parent could ever
teach their children is to emphasize,
from the day they can comprehend, that
Allah (swt) is One and no one is worthy
of worship except Allah (swt). This is
the fundamental message of our Prophet
(may Allah's peace and blessings be upon
him) and it is our key to Paradise. |
| 02. |
Treat
them kindly: Kindness
begets kindness. If we were kind to our
children, they in turn would show kindness
to others. Our Prophet (may Allah's peace
and blessings be upon him) was the best
example in being kind to children. |
| 03. |
Teach
them examples of Muslim heroes:
Instead of Batman
or Superman, tell them about real heroes
such as Abu Bakr, Umar ibn Khattab, Othman
bin Affan, Ali bin Abi Talib and others.
Tell them how Muslim leaders brought a
real peaceful change in the world and
won the hearts of Muslims and non-Muslims
alike. |
| 04. |
Let
children sit with adults: It
is preferable for children to be among
adults, especially when listening to Islamic
lectures. The Prophet (may Allah's peace
and blessings be upon him) would often
put children in the front row when he
spoke to the people. |
| 05. |
Make
them feel important: Consult
them in family matters. Let them feel
they are important members of the family
and have a part to play in the growth
and well being of the family. |
| 06. |
Go
out as a family: Take
family trips rather than allowing your
children to always go out only with their
friends. Let your children be around family
and friends from whom you want them to
pick up their values. Always remember
that your children will become who they
are around with most of the time. So,
watch their company and above all give
them YOUR company. |
| 07. |
Praise
them:
Praise is a powerful tool with children,
especially in front of others. Children
feel a sense of pride when their parents'
praise them and will be keen to perform
other good deeds. However, praise must
be limited to Islamic deeds and deeds
of moral value. |
| 08. |
Avoid
humiliation: Similarly,
do not humiliate them in front of others.
Children make mistakes. Sometimes, these
mistakes occur in their efforts to please
the parents. If you are unhappy with your
children, tell them in private.
|
| 09. |
Sports:
The Prophet (may
Allah's peace and blessings be upon him)
encouraged sports such as swimming, running
and horse riding. Other sports that build
character and physical strength are also
recommended, as long as the children maintain
their Islamic identity, wear appropriate
clothes and do not engage in unnecessary
mixing. |
| 10. |
Responsibility:
Have faith in their abilities to perform
tasks. Give them chores to do in line
with their age. Convince them that they
are performing an important function and
you will find them eager to help you out
again.
|
| 11. |
Don't
spoil them:
Children are easily spoiled. If they receive
everything they ask for, they will expect
you to oblige on every occasion. Be wise
in what you buy for them. Avoid extravagance
and unnecessary luxuries. Take them to
an orphanage or poor area of your city
once in a while so they can see how privileged
they are. |
| 12. |
Don't
be friends: It
is common in the West for parents to consider
their children as friends. In Islam, it
doesn't work that way. If you have ever
heard how friends talk to each other,
then you will know that this is not how
a parent-child relationship should be.
You are the parents, and they should respect
you, and this is what you should be teaching
them. The friendship part should be limited
to you and them keeping an open dialog
so they can share their concerns with
you and ask you questions when they have
any. |
| 13. |
Pray
with them: Involve
them in acts of worship. When they are
young, let them see you in act of salaah
(salat). Soon, they would be trying to
imitate you. Wake them up for Fajr and
pray as a family. Talk to them about the
rewards of salaah so that it doesn't feel
like a burden to them.
|
| 14. |
Emphasize
halaal: It
is not always good to say "this is
haraam, that is haraam". While you
must educate them on haraam things, Islam
is full of halaal and tell your children
to thank Allah (swt) for the bounties
He has bestowed on them- not just for
food and clothes. Tell them to be thankful
for having eyes that see, ears that hear,
arms and legs and, the ultimate blessing,
Islam in their hearts.
|
| 15. |
Set
an example: As
parents, you are the best example the
children can have. If you talk to your
parents rudely, expect your children to
do the same to you. If you are disrespectful
to others, your children will follow too.
Islam is filled with Divine advice on
the best ways to bring up your children.
That makes it an obligation upon parents
to be good Muslims so their children will
try to emulate them. If you don't take
Islam seriously, neither will your children.
It goes back to our third point, which
is to give them Islamic heroes. As a parent,
you should be their number one hero. |
